Plan Your Perfect Christmas Now

As the shops begin to display their full ranges of seasonal gift ideas, they are putting plans into action that were formulated almost a year ago. For many of us, Christmas is a last minute rush and an expensive time of rampant consumerism and materialism.

So at the Enfys Acumen, we believe this is a good time to start planning your own perfect Christmas. Not in a materialistic sense, but in a sense that is measured by contentment and satisfaction.

In a few one-hour telephone conversations, at weekly intervals, I invite you to review where you are now and where you want to be in the future. Together we can create a strategy for getting to where you want to be and define the actions that will produce the desired results.

I’m always keen to point out however that a coach is simply the catalyst. It is the you, the client who makes the decisions and the commitment. For a great many of my clients, the weekly reporting back of progress is the spur that keeps them on target.

A lot of Christmas stress results from people trusting to luck that ‘everything will be alright’ rather than taking control and ensuring that they actually make everything as they want it to be.

I frequently ask my clients,

“What would you choose to do in your life if you could do absolutely anything with no limitations, no prospect of failure and no accountability to anyone?”

I am no longer surprised when clients answer this innocent question with a long list of what they don’t want to do. It seems to be a natural reaction. I don’t let them off the hook that easily. I listen and keep returning to the positive side of the question. Eventually I will get them to admit to themselves, and often this is for the first time, what it is that they really want to do. This awareness can be the best Christmas present that you can give to yourself.

It is nowhere near as selfish as it sounds either. My clients discover that, once they have a plan for their life and achievements and are working towards its fulfilment, all the other areas of their lives improve as well. Partners, relatives and colleagues alike notice a new sense of purpose, a new enthusiasm and a contagious happiness.

You may not be able to wrap all this up in pretty paper but even so, its value is beyond measure.

I am always happy to discuss this or other aspects of my approach to coaching, absolutely free of any cost or obligation. You can contact me during usual office hours on 01633 769657 or by email anytime.

Doesn't time fly

I've just realised that it is over a month since I lasted posted to my blog. No excuses, just busy I'm very glad to say. Serious bloggers will note that this is not really good enough and you should contibute something to you blog on a regular basis.


Earlier on today I came across this quote from the mountaineer, WH Murray and really think it is worth repeating its entirety

"Until one is committed there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness.

Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too.

All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred.

A whole stream of events issues from the decision raising in one's favour all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamt would have come his way.

I have learned a deep respect for one of Goethe's couplets:

'Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it.
Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it.'"

I'm off on a family holiday for a couple of weeks. In the meantime why not visit our website www.enfysacumen.com. I'd love to hear from you when I return.

Kicking bad habits into touch

Everybody has bad habits. Everybody – I do, you do, we all do!

Now granted, some people have less than others and some people's bad habits are more grating than those of others, but we all have them. What is great is that we don't have to! Imagine a life where you couldn't change? What kind of life would that be? But we can, so let's!

There are two kinds of bad habits: Those you know you have that others may or may not know about, and those you don't know you have but everybody else knows you have! For the sake of everybody involved we ought to get rid of them all, right?

So how can you get rid of some of your bad habits? The answers simple, but hard. Ask somebody to be brutally honest with you! You might think, "But I'll be embarrassed." Would you rather everyone talk behind your back? Get up the courage and ask. Ask somebody who loves you and has your best interest in mind. Be gracious and don't defend your self. Just accept it and work on it.

What about the ones we know about - which are all of them once your good friend tells you the ones you were missing? Those are the tough ones. How do I know they are tough? They must be tough if you know about them and yet you still have them! If they weren't tough, they would be OLD bad habits! Am I right?

So how do you break a bad habit? How do you kick it into touch out of your life? Here are a few things that must be a part of the plan in order to see that stuff gone forever!

1. You must want them to go. That's right, some people want them to stick around. We have all seen dads choose alcohol over their grandchildren. I’m sure you have seen smokers continue smoking while watching their parents die of emphysema. They don't want them to go. The first thing is to go deep into the recesses of your heart and ask, "Do I really want to give this up?"

2. You do? Good. Step two: Make up a list of all of the reasons you want to quit your bad habits. Make them positive. Make the list long! Start with the really powerful and dramatic if you need to. Now memorise them. Put them in your mind. You are making connections between stopping the bad behaviour with what good things you will get from doing so. If you want to lose weight, then picture yourself slim and looking good in those skinny people clothes! If you want to stop smoking, picture your wife actually kissing you rather than sending you to the bathroom to brush your teeth!

3. Choose. That is right. Once you have the information, this comes down to one thing: It is an act of the will. Choose to do it. Say to yourself throughout the day, "I am choosing to..." Eisenhower rightly said, "The history of free men is written not by chance but by choice, their choice." It is your choice. You can write your history.

4. Take action! Point four is tricky because there are two philosophies about this. One theory is that you must take massive action. You must go all or nothing. Using the weight loss example, this person would go spend hundreds of pounds to join a gym, rework their daily routine and hit the treadmill everyday for a year. They will get rid of all fat in the house. They go all out! That works for some. Others would burn out on that, feel like failures and be worse off than before. They should start out slow, taking baby steps, but working diligently toward a planned goal. This person would decide to start walking three days a week. They would decide to limit dessert to two nights a week, down from seven. See how this works? Either way is okay as long as you get to the goal eventually. Which one am I? The first two people to email me with the correct guess will win four free coaching sessions to help them succeed.

5. Tell somebody. This is your accountability partner. Tell them your goal and tell them your plan. Write it down for them and have them ask you on regular intervals about your progress. This will prove invaluable!

6. Recover from failure. Inevitably most people will have setbacks. The key is to have them be setbacks and not turnbacks! Pick yourself up and get going again. Some people may want to lose 3 stone in weight and after losing two they eat a slap up takeaway. Then they feel bad and give up. Don't! Reset your goal for another two weeks and get going again. Chalk it off to experience! Say to yourself, "Sometimes you win and sometimes you learn."

7. Reward yourself. That's right. You should regularly congratulate yourself by rewarding yourself with some gift to yourself. Start small with small victories and plan a big one when you are finally and for sure over the habit.

Is it that simple? Most of the time, no it is definitely not. Habits are hard to break. There are so many intangibles that it would be hard to cover them all. But this is a simple and workable plan that will help you make great strides if you apply the principles.

For more information about coaching from the Enfys Acumen, why not get in touch today.

Mother’s Day and Lots More Too

Last Sunday’s Mother’s Day made me ponder even a bit more than usual.

Now, we all have a mother and a father and, of course, most of us remember them especially on their special days. Perhaps now it could be time to go beyond cards and flowers.

Do you remember in the 1980’s there was a trend for a range of what were on the whole rather twee A3-sized posters and often featuring a cutesy picture of a kitten, a puppy or some other baby animal with some words of wisdom or a pithy saying of some kind. Do you remember them?

I recall at the time most of them made me cringe, but one poster especially has stuck in my mind. It was given to me by my mother when I left home for the first time for teacher training college. It was a picture of an eagle soaring high above a fantastic mountain range and the caption said “The two greatest gifts we can give our children are roots and wings.” Brilliant don’t you think? It has always stuck in my mind, especially when I later became a parent myself.

I think there is a great message here however, not just for parents but for anyone in a leadership or management position.

In my coaching work I often come across people who would like to be able to give their team members roots of a secure business background and wings to explore the world and soar to the heights of their own potential. This is an ideal position and, alas, one that a great many people feel they have lost out on. Including myself for a greater part of my career.

It is interesting isn’t it that that many of our attitudes to work, relationships and life in general are coloured by how close our childhood came to this ideal. Any couple can become parents without any training, lessons or experience. Similarly, many people become managers and supervisors without any training or induction into the role. So it is not surprising that many fall short of the perfection that we might have felt was our due.

Let’s continue with the parents and family analogy

The key to overcoming any resentment or regret is forgiveness. After all, what has been done cannot be undone and you are what you are. You are also what you think, so Mothers’ day is a great time to eliminate any negative thinking about your parents or even about bosses who you feel have let you down in the past.

Everyone does the very best that they could with the knowledge that was available to them at the time. Just like you, they only discovered what they didn’t know when they needed to know it - so it is hardly surprising that they may have made a few mistakes along the way. I have to exclude parents who wilfully mistreat their children and bullies on an ego trip from this general observation. These individuals will require a greater effort for forgiveness but it is an effort well worth making.

Some of my coaching clients are held back in achieving the great things in life because there is simply no room to let them in. I see it like this: If you harbour a grudge or resentment it will fester and impact on everything else that you do and that is like trying to cycle uphill with the brakes on. The way to release the brakes is to just let go. If it becomes apparent that a client is being held back by some imagined past injustice I ask them three simple questions:

• Could you let that feeling go?
• Would you let it go?
• When?

Their answers invariably lead to the client becoming aware of the way forward and going for it. This process also has a positive impact for clients who are parents or leaders or managers themselves. In understanding their own parents, they find a greater understanding of their children. In understanding their managers, they find a greater understanding of their own skills and work ethics.

I am always happy to discuss this or other aspects of my approach to coaching, absolutely free of any cost or obligation. He can be contacted during usual office hours on 01633 769657 or through our website.

In the final analysis we all have a choice. We can carry negativity and bitterness with us to the grave or we can decide, right now, to let it go and replace it with happiness and love. Share that love, especially with your parents before it is too late.

The Guy in the Glass

I've just stumbled across this poem. Isn't it great?

The Guy in the Glass

by Dale Wimbrow, (c) 1934

When you get what you want in your struggle for pelf,

And the world makes you King for a day,

Then go to the mirror and look at yourself,

And see what that guy has to say.

For it isn't your Father, or Mother, or Wife,

Who judgement upon you must pass.

The feller whose verdict counts most in your life

Is the guy staring back from the glass.

He's the feller to please, never mind all the rest,

For he's with you clear up to the end,

And you've passed your most dangerous, difficult test

If the guy in the glass is your friend.

You may be like Jack Horner and "chisel" a plum,

And think you're a wonderful guy,

But the man in the glass says you're only a bum

If you can't look him straight in the eye.

You can fool the whole world down the pathway of years,

And get pats on the back as you pass,

But your final reward will be heartaches and tears

If you've cheated the guy in the glass.

Start shovelling for greater business success

Last week's snowfall made me think. While shovelling snow from my front drive to get the car our without sliding into the gate post, I remembered an article I read recently about leverage and organisation and business development.

Leverage is about using the resources you have available to make sure you get the best returns for your business or organisation. I think the concept is equally relevant whether you are looking to secure a better income, improve your personal performance or have a greater impact as a voluntary or community organisation.

Let's get back to those shovels:


Shovel 1: Projects

Start making much smarter choices about which projects and tasks are really worth your time, and which should be ditched. I look at every project from the perspective of not only immediate short-term rewards, but also how it will continue making a difference for months or years to come. Make a list today.

Shovel 2: Time

Don't obsess about not having enough time. You all have all the time in the world to make the kind of money you need or develop the quality of life you desire for yourself or community. You just need to choose the right projects and have a bigger vision! Sometimes you need time away from day-to-day business to be more creative and fresh. What is your vision? Take some time out to clarify it.

Shovel 3:Customers, Clients and Service Users

It is easy to think that any customer, client or service user is better than none at all. If you think about it though, it becomes painfully clear that you can't be all things to all people, so that it's essential to screen customers and clients carefully and to take only highly committed and well paying clients. This might be challenging to some VCOs or public services, but think about the value of a major success for one service user might have on raising expectations for others with similar needs.

Shovel 4: Products and Services

You might thrive on the creative energy of creating new ways of doing things, I know I do, but how much time is spent just talking about things and not achieving anything - remember a camel is a horse designed by a committee! Why not put more effort into thinking why you want to do something and then develop ways for having fewer products and services on the back burner and get smarter, quicker.

Shovel 5: Alliances

I am a great believer in the idea that together we are better, that's why I am such a great fan of networking and having alliances with people like Vivienne, Steve and Elena. Just think what you might be able to achieve by being commited to achieving results with other people, businesses and services. With whom can you form alliances?

Shovel 6: Technology

Just 12 years ago I worked in an open plan office with 20-30 other people in a wide variety of roles and where there were just two PCs. One was dominated by the team coordinator and the other was in a corner collecting dust. I soon became frustrated with handwriting letters and documents, giving them to someone else to type (and as I was quite junior, was far down the pecking order for getting things done!), correcting the typos and then waiting hours and sometimes days to get the final copy back - so I vowed to conquer Word Perfect. Oh, how times have changed! Now I communicate daily with people around the globe, have information when I need it, do most of my marketing online, create presentations, record speeches, update my website and break down so many barriers with emails, now that's leverage! I know by the very fact that you are reading this that I am probably preaching to the converted, but am still flabbergasted that there are so many people in leadership and management positions that are not making the best use of the technology so readily available. Why not print this off give them the article with my best wishes.

Shovel 7: My Coach

Who is your coach? I made a conscious decision to have a coach to help me grow my business and achieve my goals in life. By regularly working with a coach, I am helped to find find more and more "bigger shovels" in my business. If you are committed to a successful life and career, you must get yourself a coach.

Bigger Shovel 8: Goals

What are your goals for your business or organisation, your career and your home life? Are these goals little more than making sure the next contract comes in, getting through to the next grant round, carrying on working until your pension matures or to have another holiday in the same place you have been to for the last 10 years. If so, don't you think there may be more to life than that and you are without a doubt able to achieve a great deal more. Set yourself some clear goals, work out how you can achieve them.

As you can see, there are many ways to experience growth using leverage. If you are working harder than ever, and settling for less money, fewer customers or clients and less enjoyment, this is your lifetime opportunity to change it.

The Enfys Acumen can help, why not get in touch today?

Work-Life Balance should be Life-Work Balance - what do you reckon?

We hear so much these days about the work-life balance, but isn't that bit of jargon putting up a barrier right from the start?

Surely life and all that it entails should be the priority, work is merely part of life. A major part of life for many people I know and I don't mean to diminish its value, by the way. Walt Disney kind of summed this up when he said:

"We don't make movies to make money. We make money to make movies."

When I am coaching people and ask what is really important in their lives, inevitably high up on their list is a desire to spend more quality time with loved ones, playing a sport, participating in a hobby, spending their hard earned money or simply chilling out.

If this rings some bells with you, why not try this short exercise...

• First of all, think about your life-work balance on a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being totally out of sync and 10 being a perfect score.

• When you have done that, make a brief note of what a perfect life-work balance would mean to you. If this is difficult, try to think of an outcome you could work towards to move your life to a greater state of balance.

• You now have a goal you can be working towards. Achieving goals usually requires a series of stepping stones to negotiate. Remember, a wise sage once asked:

"How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time of course!"

• Think now about some actions you can take in the next few days to move you towards your goal. The things you are going to do must be realistic and achievable. Try to keep them positive and if you can, set a time for when you will do this activity.

Now what you have here is the start to a simple plan for living the kind of life you truly want and deserve. What do you think?

Imagine how you will feel when your life and work become more balanced.

Imagine what would happen if you applied coaching techniques like this simple one to other areas of your life: maybe you are not currently in your dream job? Perhaps you would like to live somewhere else? You might be stuck in a relationship that is holding you back? You might want to go dancing or sail a yacht?

We are all different and have different needs and aspirations. Sometimes we need someone else to help us find the right direction, to build up our confidences, to challenge our negative thinking, or to hold us to account.

A coach can do all of these things and lots, lots more.

Have a look at the Enfys Acumen website, I know we can help you to move from dreaming to action and live the life you deserve.